Last night, Nate and I went to see Adopted the movie. It was put on by Bethany as one of their adoption trainings. This movie is very thought provoking and at times hard to watch. It follows 2 different families.
First, it follows a S.Korea adoptee in her journey to process her adoption and her place in the world. A lot of things she said resonated with me in terms of being an Asian American in a predominately Caucasian community. Being teased for being Asian was a part of my childhood as teasing is part of most kids' childhood. This was not something I talked to my parents about much and in retrospect, I wish I had. I hope that when Lily comes home and starts dealing with these same issues, I can be open and honest, helping her through this struggle. As a parent, I need to realize that this struggle of identity *will* happen. We will need to be proactive in terms of talking to Lily about her birth family and validating her struggles. We also need to learn more about what it means to be a multi-racial family and what that looks like day to day.
Second, it follows a family adopting from China as they go and bring her home. There was much joy and happiness of course. But, in between the sorrow and tension of the other family, it seemed almost inappropriate. Obviously they should be entitled to their joy - we plan on being joyful when we meet Lily for the first time. But, as adoptive parents we need to remember that the day we meet is still part of the trauma of their lives and they are being taken from everything they know and love.
Sometimes when we think of all these issues, it can seem overwhelming and we wonder if we will do anything right for Lily. The quote that really gets me is this "You only got her because she was abandoned. And she knows that at a younger age then you can imagine.". It breaks my heart that Lily was abandoned. But what gives us comfort is that we have been praying for Lily, her birthmother and all the things she will have to endure since we started this process years ago. We know that God has placed her in our life and we will do the best we can with His help!
Here is the trailer for the movie. You can also to go YouTube and see many excerpts from movie.